Why You Don’t Need Your 20-Year-Old Body Back
Last week, I went home.
I stood on the street where I learned to ride a bike, passed the post office where we got our mail every day, and peeked into my old bedroom. The walls were painted a new color, the carpet replaced—but the memories? They were right there, waiting.
I could almost see the girl who used to dream in that space—getting ready for school, writing in her journal, imagining what her future would look like.
That visit stirred something deep in me. While so much in my hometown had changed, some pieces felt frozen in time. The tree in front of my grandma’s house still stood tall. The shed in the back still held the freezer, where I would seek out popsicles in the summer.
But here’s the thing: as much as I loved growing up there, I didn’t want to live that old life again.
It’s the same with our bodies.
We’re Not Meant to Go Back
I talk to women every week who say some version of this:
“I just want my 20-year-old body back.”
And I get it.
At 20, you may have felt lighter, more energetic, more confident slipping into those favorite jeans. But here’s the truth no one tells us—we’re not supposed to go back.
That version of you didn’t have your wisdom, your resilience, your strength, your stories. She hadn’t raised kids, managed careers, navigated heartbreaks, or rediscovered herself through change.
She hadn’t learned how to stand up for herself, say no when needed, or find joy in things deeper than the scale or a size tag.
And she hadn’t yet weathered what you’ve weathered.
So when you say, “I want my 20-year-old body back,” what you often mean is, I want to feel like her again. You want to feel light, free, capable, confident. But those feelings don’t live in your 20-year-old body—they live in how you take care of your today body.
Your Body Isn’t the Problem
Let’s be honest: the messages we get as women aren’t kind.
We’re told that aging is something to “fight,” that wrinkles should be “erased,” and that our worth lies in staying small, smooth, and forever youthful. But that’s not truth—that’s marketing.
The truth is, your body has been doing its job all these years. It’s carried you through pregnancies, loss, long nights, career changes, moves, and everything in between. It’s adapted, healed, and kept you alive.
That doesn’t sound like something broken—it sounds like something miraculous.
When I coach women through their health journeys, we spend a lot of time reframing how they see their bodies. Instead of seeing “flaws,” we start seeing evidence.
Stretch marks? Evidence of growth.
Wrinkles? Evidence of laughter and expression.
Softer midsection? Evidence that you’ve been living, not depriving.
And when you shift that mindset, something powerful happens: you stop punishing your body and start partnering with it.
Building a Body That Supports Your Life Now
You don’t need a 20-year-old body. You need a body that supports your life now.
That means one that:
Has the stamina to play with your grandkids.
Feels energized to go hiking on vacation.
Has the strength to carry groceries, luggage, or that awkward bag of dog food.
Moves with ease and confidence, not pain or fatigue.
That’s what I mean when I say, build a body that feels like home.
A home is a place that holds you, protects you, and reflects who you are. It’s not the same as the one you grew up in—but it can still feel like yours.
Your body is the same way. It’s changed with time, and it’s meant to. You’ve evolved. You’ve lived. You’ve earned this version of yourself.
Why “Going Back” Doesn’t Work
Here’s something most diets and fitness plans don’t tell you: your body isn’t the same metabolically as it was decades ago.
Hormonal shifts, muscle loss, stress, and even sleep quality all influence how your body uses energy. For women, especially those over 40, estrogen and progesterone levels change dramatically, which affects metabolism, fat distribution, and energy regulation (Office on Women's Health).
That’s why “doing what worked before” often stops working.
You can’t just copy-paste an old plan into a new season of life. What your body needs now is different.
And that’s not a bad thing—it’s actually an opportunity to work with your body instead of against it.
When you learn how to nourish yourself properly (with enough protein, balanced carbs and fats, and plenty of micronutrients), your metabolism responds positively. Your hormones stabilize, your energy improves, and your body begins to trust that it’s safe.
That’s the opposite of restriction—and it’s the foundation of lasting health.
Rebuilding With Intention
One of my favorite parts of coaching women is helping them rebuild from the inside out.
When you’ve spent years dieting, restricting, or “starting over,” you may not realize how disconnected you’ve become from your body’s signals. You eat by rules, not by intuition. You move out of guilt, not out of joy.
But when you rebuild with intention, you start to:
Tune into hunger and fullness cues.
Recognize emotional triggers (and learn healthier ways to cope).
Respect your body’s rhythms—like rest, recovery, and hormonal changes.
Fuel your body for energy, not punishment.
This is where transformation truly happens.
Not just on the outside, but deep in your mindset, your habits, and your sense of self.
As Harvard Health explains, good nutrition and consistent movement in midlife aren’t just about weight—they’re key to brain function, heart health, and longevity.
So when you rebuild with intention, you’re not just changing your body—you’re protecting your future.
Coming Home to Your Body
When I walked through my childhood home, I didn’t wish I could go back to being that little girl again. I smiled at her. I thanked her for dreaming, for believing, for being the foundation of who I am today.
That’s what I want for you.
When you think about your “old body,” I want you to thank her. She got you here. But you’re not meant to stay in her house. You’ve built something new—something wiser, stronger, more capable.
Your body now deserves your attention, your care, your kindness.
That means:
Eating enough to feel energized.
Prioritizing strength training to build muscle and support bone health.
Getting enough sleep and managing stress.
Speaking to yourself with the same compassion you show everyone else.
You don’t need a new diet—you need a new relationship with yourself.
This Is the Beauty of This Season
There’s freedom in realizing that you don’t have to go back.
You can stop chasing who you were and start embracing who you’re becoming. You can let go of comparison and start rebuilding from a place of gratitude.
Because the truth is, this season of life holds a different kind of beauty. It’s quieter. It’s stronger. It’s rooted.
You’ve survived, grown, and learned. You’ve been broken open and put back together again—and that’s where your strength lives.
So when you look in the mirror, don’t wish for the past. Smile at the woman who’s still here, still learning, still evolving.
That’s who you’ve always been meant to become.
Ready to Rebuild?
If you’re ready to start building a body that feels like home—not your old home, but your real one—I’d love to help you get there.
In my 1:1 coaching, we focus on:
✅ Personalized macro coaching (so you can eat more and still see results)
✅ Mindset support (so you can stop the all-or-nothing thinking)
✅ Movement (so you can have the strength and energy to enjoy travel, family, and fun)
Because this isn’t about going back. It’s about creating your next chapter with confidence, energy, and self-respect.
Here’s to coming home to yourself—body, mind, and spirit. 💛
